My husband is in the habit of buying a quart of whiskey every other day from a Chinese bootlegger named Chin Waugh living at 317 Sixteenth near Alder Street.
We need this money for household expenses. Will you please have his place raided? He keeps a supply planted in the garden and a smaller quantity under the back steps for quick delivery. If you make the raid at nine thirty any morning you will be sure to get the goods, and Chin also, as he leaves the house at ten o’clock and may clean up before he goes.
"In the editorial about President Abraham Lincoln’s speech delivered Nov. 19, 1863, in Gettysburg, the Patriot & Union failed to recognize its momentous importance, timeless eloquence, and lasting significance. The Patriot-News regrets the error."
“Apart from bodily pain and from grief for the grief of those who love us, the most disagreeable thing about dying is the intolerable ennui of it. There ought to be no slow deaths.”—John Stuart Mill, 1854
We were sitting here wondering half-aloud who the winner of tomorrow’s Nobel Prize for Literature will be. An American? A woman? An Eastern European poet who writes only in dead languages and hand-drawn symbols?
And so, we’re turning this one over to you guys: reblog with your best guess! Someone who correctly picks the winner (we’re expecting more than one of you gets it right—it is a relatively narrow field, after all) will win the Lapham’s Quarterly issue of his or her choice.
1. Chicken soup is “an excellent food as well as medicine,” says 12th c. rabbi and physician Moses Maimonides. The consumption of a chicken (not one too old or too fat, mind you) will also alleviate symptoms of asthma and sexual dysfunction.
2. Cover our noses and mouths when we sneeze lest our soul escape and leave us nothing more than a walking bag of bones, as warned by theologians of the Medieval era.
Take pearls, crab’s-eyes, red coral, white amber, burnt hartshorn, and oriental bezoar, of each half an ounce; the black tips of crabs-claws three ounces; make all into a paste, with a jelly of vipers (Ed. note: where do we find this!?), and roll it into little balls, which dry and keep for use.
“I confess that I do not entirely approve this Constitution at present…I am not sure I will ever approve it: for having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions on even important subjects, which I once thought right, but found to be otherwise.”—Benjamin Franklin, concluding speech to the Constitutional Convention, 1787